Let Go of Mom Guilt + Fill Your Well (with Ashlee Gadd)

“I cannot show up to be the mom I want to be for Bennett if I don't show up for myself,” says co-host Liz. But when you have so many things pulling at your attention—your kids, your work, your partner, your family and friends—how *do* you find time to show up for yourself?

Ashlee Gadd, found of Coffee + Crumbs, knows this struggle all too well. Ashlee talks with new mama Liz about how she learned to let go of the guilt of not doing it all perfectly, and why pursuing what fills you up benefits everyone around you (especially your kids!). For anyone who pours their time into their children, their work, or any other important areas of their life, you'll find Ashlee's message so relatable—and see freeing.

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Thought-Provoking Quotes

“I cannot show up to be the mom I want to be for Bennett if I don't show up for myself.” – Liz Holtzman

“Part of being a parent is is raising little children into grown adult someday. And so it's important that we're instilling these values into our kids as we raise them up. I really want to instill a love of creativity into my kids. And if I want to instill that in them, what better way than to show them this is how you do it?” – Ashlee Gadd

“Everything started to make a lot more sense when I actually started to get comfortable allowing my motherhood and my creativity to collide and to touch each other throughout the day.” – Ashlee Gadd

“I feel like when we view creativity as selfish, what we're really doing is we're devaluing it, right? And so I just really love to encourage women to really consider their foundational beliefs on on the topic of creativity. Because when we begin our creative pursuits with a really solid foundation that our creativity matters and making art matters, we can actually reframe creativity from one of being selfish to being an act of generosity. When I take photos of my family, my family gets to remember things. When I go and make a great meal, we get to eat it and enjoy it.” – Ashlee Gadd

“I'm teaching my kids all kinds of things. I'm teaching my kids how to vacuum. I'm teaching my kids how to do their laundry and how to tie their shoes. And also, ‘This is what Mom looks like when Mom is writing a story, and she is just filled with delight at the process because she loves to write.’ ‘This is what it looks like to take pictures. Mom loves taking pictures.’ And I love that my kids get to bear witness to their mom using her creative gifts in the world. Because when my kids grow up, I want them to do that, too.” – Ashlee Gadd

Blessing of the Week

To all women on this upcoming Mother’s Day, from the words of poet and artist Morgan Harper Nichols:

Whether today is a day of

Remembering,

Honoring,

Celebrating,

Creating,

Or waiting,

Nurturing,

Unearthing,

Practicing gratitude,

Or just making it through,

There is room, right here for you,

To let today be what it needs to be,

Welcoming the grace

That gives you room

To breathe.

Let today be what it needs to be.

Liz’s Simplicity Tip of the Week

Ask for help.

There is nothing simple about trying to do it all. Chat with your people regularly, whether that's your partner, your parent, your babysitter—whoever is in your circle—and carve out time for you.

For David and I, that means having a chat every night before bed about what the next day is going to look like. We make sure that we have an uninterrupted block of time to do whatever fills us up. For David, that is running, bless him. For me, that's usually writing or working or just chatting with you guys on Instagram. We usually even add these blocks to our family calendar to make sure that they don't get lost in the chaos of the day in between the poopy diapers, and the spit up, and the naps, and the feedings.

It is so important to us, because I know that I cannot show up to be the mom I want to be for Bennett if I don't show up for myself.

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Resources, Links, Mentions from This Episode

Ashlee’s book, Create Anyway: The Joy of Pursuing Creativity in the Margins of Motherhood