Bryan and I had THE. MOST. INCREDIBLE. trip to the Dominican Republic for my thirtieth birthday. I was on E (crazy eye problems from staring at a computer screen every day type of EMPTY…) when we left. E for empty. I was tired, grumpy, spent, all the words you can think of for EXHAUSTED and DRAINED.
I wasn’t even as excited as I should have been to escape to a tropical island for nearly a week. But the trip was incredible. I hate leaving the little guy just as much as the next Mama, but gracious did I need it. A few days at the spa, many hours (ouch, sunburn) at the pool and on the beach and bottomless margaritas, yes please. Not to mention fun friends, birthday celebration after silly birthday celebration and precious time with my sweet hubby. Lots of fun photos over on Instagram.
I forgot how much I liked him! I mean, don’t get me wrong, I love him to death, but I like him so much! Don’t look at me weird! You know what I mean! :) We had a blast, seriously, and he scored major points with his surprise bottle of wine and birthday cake in our room after a day of snorkeling (ps: panic attack. I hate snorkeling. I can’t breathe!)
Every time I leave (leaving again on Sunday for the Making Things Happen 2013 Conference!) I get super anxious and sad to leave Brady. But every time I return I am so refueled with JOY and happiness and love that I’m overwhelmingly ready to get back to what matters most.
And that brings me to the point of this post. You (yes, you!) stop it. You can’t do that thing (you know the one!) from an empty well!! Hello, Mamas, I’m talking to YOU! You just simply can’t. It’s a matter of physics. Full well = lots of water to give. Empty well = no water to give. Dry. Bone dry.
You don’t have to escape to a tropical island to do this either (although I sure do wish I could!). You just have to remember what FILLS your tank, what FIRES you up. I love reading. I love old literature and good books (Favorites: Love Does (buy it), Paradise Lost (the best) and, most recently, The Power of Starting Something Stupid, by Richie Norton (love you, Nat and Richie). Richie’s a friend of ours – more on his REMARKABLE book later this week. I love taking care of myself (getting outside and sweaty [though I detest it before I'm doing it], massages, pedicures [ok, admit it, you do too!]. I love accoustic music and good wine. I love laughing with Bryan. I LOVE laughing with Bryan :) No one makes me laugh like him. I love being with my parents and soaking them up. I love my girlfriends. I LOVE spending time with Brady.
Today was a long day. It was great, but long. Tonight I decided to take Brady on a date. We went to Surf Shack for Taco Thursday, Starbucks and Target. He was so well behaved (2+ years old and restaurants DON’T always get along these days, but tonight they did!) and said “HIIIII!!!” TO EVERYONE he saw (no, seriously, everyone). And after his bath, I sat down in his rocking chair with him, like I always do, anticipating the 2.5 seconds he’d sit still and then say “Night, night, Mama… pillow” and want to get in his bed. But tonight, he just let me rock him. In silence. We sang a few rounds of Happy Birthday Elmo/Maggie (McKay’s dog)/Daddy/PopPop/Choo-choo, and the Itsy Bitsy Spider then he just settled in and closed his eyes.
You know those moments as a Mom when everything is just so PERFECT and PRECIOUS and you just want time to stop? Then you start trying to shut down any other thoughts that creep into your head? Like the laundry or your work day, or that call you forgot to make for your dog’s grooming appointment? Yea. Oh it was precious. I shut them all down and just rocked. For six glorious minutes. The six best minutes ever. I think they were better than any six minutes I sat on the Dominican beaches with an umbrella’d drink in hand. This is an old photo from when Brady was about six months old, but it’s one of my favorites. Thanks for this Gina :)
And after I put him down and shut the door, I thought… “aahhhhh, my tank is full.”
You can’t draw anything good, ANYTHING GOOD, from an empty well. Fill ‘er up. Do what matters. Ease up on yourself. Soak them up.
xo,
Emily
you said it exactly right. fill up that well. love you lady!
So sweet….
Your posts always make me happy!
Ahh, I love this, Emily! Zac and I got back from a trip today. We were gone for 2 weeks and we got to visit my family and take some 5 days for traveling in Cambodia (just the two of us!). I feel full – like you described. It’s amazing how some time away can do that. Zac and I came back home with some goals and changes we’re going to make… starting with getting rid of cable. Hope you’re having the best week, Emily! xo
This is so beautifully written and so true! We don’t have kids yet, but we know how life can often get so crazy. So crazy that we forget to focus on what’s most important, even if it is just for 6 minutes each day! LOVE this! And we love the fact that you took the time to escape with Bryan! We can’t image how tough it must have been to leave little B-man, but are so happy that you were able to get away to refuel! Cheers to loving life, and HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
Exactly! Great post and I love that you had a great birthday vacay!!
Hi Emily, this is a lovely post! I will be pinning your top “empty well” graphic. It is a lovely reminder that you can – and should – take some time out. I take my hat off to all mamas, for they are dealing with “constant-ness” on a whole other level. I work in a helping profession, and through this, can very easily feel that I’ve run out of give (certainly as I type this on a Friday afternoon!). I can also be guilty of creating to-do lists out of thin air (a habit I am continually working on reforming). Breathe. Rest. Refill. I’m so pleased you had a fantastic birthday. Happy weekend, Annie x
so beautifully said, love this!
I swear Emily, you and Lara know just the right time when I so need to hear these things. Spent on a long week away from my baby girl taking care of a family member and just can’t wait to get home to her to tuck her in bed. Why does it take us having to go away to see the water full in the well?? Thank you for such a beautiful reminder to know life IS good.
This is beautiful! Such an important, honest, and often overlooked message. Thank you for sharing.
P.S. Love the lion pants!
oh man… that totally made me tear up!! thanks emily for the beautiful, thought-provoking post. lovely writing too. :)
Oh wow did I need this! So well-written! I read this late last night and teared up. It had been “one of those days.” Thank you for your words and your spirit! :)
Emily!!!!! This touched my heart so much today! I am so thankful for refreshing words of truth about being a momma…..time to refuel and recharge is so necessary and so lost in the hustle and bustle of a working momma! You spoke to my heart….thank you for this! :)
Dear Emily, I just stumbled onto your blog and started to read. Initially I was thinking it was yet another look how wonderful my life is blog. But as I read on, your words and message resonated with me. I have been going through some low points recently and am feeling unwell at the moment, despite this I’m laid in bed giving myself a hard time about all the things I haven’t done. The world really does bring you what you need, today I needed you to remind me to take a deep breathe and be kind to myself. Thank you so much x
: )